influenced by media

Media or not, there are many things that influence one’s life.
Friends, family, TV, radio, internet, and more.

Today, I came across a show on the TV on NHK (the national broadcast of Japan), a show called “Super Presentation” which was hosted by the Director of MIT Media Lab Mr. Joi Ito.
Finding out that Mr. Ito is the same age as me, born 1966, and MIT Media Lab established in 1985, the same year I graduated from BU ENG, made a big shock on me.

Why? I came across a missing value loss in my life.
The other day, I argued with my wife about my lost 10 years or was it a gained 10 years. It’s only a point of view. Who’s loss and who’s gain or perhaps, both in my life.

My life, after leaving from a precision instrument manufacture, I ended up wondering around. I can’t blame anyone with this but myself.
It’s been good and bad, but I’ve met many people, precious people and made new friends. But was that my life?

As I said, when I saw this show of the Super Presentation, I realized, I was stagnating and was very inward and defensive. Nothing to lose, but since I worked alone, there’s only a limited amount of things that I can possibly do with the time.

Then, the fire caught in my heart.
A Google engineer, Mr. Matt Cutts,  a presentation of trying something for 30 days and see the change. Yes, I’ve tried this before. Yes, for 3 weeks. I’ve tried many things. I’ve even tried things for over 1 whole year, but when I was done, things reset. But this is because I didn’t want the change to happen. I wanted to return to the original stage and challenge did no good for me in life.
I was writing a diary for over year but I got sick and tired of it. I gave up drinking many times for 3 weeks, but ended up drinking again. I tried many methods of losing weight program but after a point, I stopped losing weight and end up giving up on the diet. There are many more. But it seems it’s a time to change in my work to change my life. This is probably the biggest reason, things returned as it was.

I wanted to be an engineer working in Silicone Valley. I had a chance working in Sunnyvale when I was still developing laser printers and copiers. I was in charge of setting up the office network on Matilda Ave, across Moffet Air Force Base in 1996. But I had to return back to Japan  due to family affairs, a very unreasonable excuse for me. Since then, I’ve lost all motivation in life, even after marriage and even after child born.

Yes, I know what TED was. I’ve seen it in many places on the net, but never really paid much attention until TODAY. After seeing this show broadcasted by NHK, which I pay shit load of yearly dues, I realized I need to change. Change in attitude.
That’s an easy thing to say… “Change”… Change is a challenge. Challenge is a task. Task is arduous. Hey, who said life was easy?

Another episode was of Mr. Mick Ebeling, unlocking the locked-in artist, that he flew in 7 programmers/hackers, whatever to the house and created this “eye-ware” that projected image via sunshades. He and his family having to move to the back garage to live for these guys to build a gadget, took guts and risk. His activeness and vitality was amazing.
What happened to my guts after all these years, rotting in Japan?

Need to get my big ass off the chair and move!
Life is not worth waiting for.
What I wanna do in life? — No, I can tell you what I don’t wanna do in life, a rotten undertaker waiting for a body to arrive.